It’s hard to explain how it feels, indeed, as I feel it is never good to generalize. Well, I’m terrified. I leave at home a lovely family, a full life, a guy who loves me, a comfortable existence. Why? Why do some people feel the need of this, of this anxiety, the time at which you realize that you’re seeing something or someone for the last time, the feeling of strength given by loneliness and fear . As one who jumps from the aircraft or from the cliffs (which are things I do or want to do too), is the search for the limit . You get over it, and realize that you’re doing it.
I recently heard a joke from someone: the world is divided into people who did Erasmus and people who did not do it. And the latter can not understand the first. I still do not know if it’s true, although I suppose am going to find it out. But I think it’s true, because at this moment I understand that there is nothing compared to this feeling: Erasmus, work abroad, change of life in general … you know what you are today and not have the slightest fucking idea of what you’ll be tomorrow … a few hours that make a world of difference. Does not exist elsewhere.
Now that I’m on the road, now that I did get 4 months of life in 32 kg of “heavy luggage” (which were 38 before and 35 then, further emptied at the airport because it was too heavy), now that I am mentally “virgin” both from my past life and the one that is to come … I ask myself the objectives for this experience:
– I want to grow as a person : to go away, alone, in my opinion serves or should serve this; it is a vague concept, I know, but it does mean return feeling more mature than before and with the tools to address the most in life.
– I want to appreciate my country knowing the “other” … it is easy to say that the U.S. is great, and criticize Italy. On the other hand, in many ways it is true. But maturity is also to understand the limits of what looks fantastic, patriotism is to learn from the outside to change from within, and an experience abroad can not only turn into a source of regret to be back home. I do not want that for me for sure, I want to go home happier than before, not less. If not I would have remained there, no?
– I want to meet people from the world to become a citizen of the world . And because it is easier to visit places far away if you know you have someone who gives you a hand ;) I have always loved to learn, in a profound sense, different cultures, noticing the differences … here I will get to know not only the U.S., but Japan, Australia, Germany, India ……..
– Finally, I would like to really make up my mind about my future . I chose to make this experience for many reasons, some trivial, some very serious … but first and foremost it was my “gap year“, I wanted to take it before college to think about which choice to make, one thing that already in high school I wanted to do … I regained a time that was to be mine for years, and that should not go to waste. I have very confused ideas about what I want to be and how to become it… I hope understanding this new reality and a lot of people from the world broadens my horizons and my prospects, and to come back with a clearer idea about my future.
I believe it is all, or at least that these are the goals that are worth writing down not to let the parties, the new friends, the so-called ‘syndrome Erasmus” change them … I hope to achieve them, but especially to seize the right opportunities and make the most of this experience well deserved. And then, really … Ready, steady …
Gooooooo!!